Better known as "Random!"

For a long time now I've realized that I have taken my ability to make people smile for granted. I came to this epiphany due to a misunderstanding on my part with a co-worker of mine.

She is a very bubbly and energetic woman who is a dear friend of mine. She always wears a smile and has a contagious laugh. That's why I was kind of taken back when she appeared to be in a bad mood and (from my perspective) avoiding me. This went on for two days or so until I just cracked a random joke and she seemingly returned to normal.

I haven't taken notice, but I realize that when I talk to people, if I'm trying to or not, tend to be smiling or laughing by the end of our conversation. Don't get it wrong, I'm not trying to display how great I am or how funny I can be, but I mean to say that I hadn't noticed that. I forgot that I had this kind of effect on people around me. Friend or stranger

I'm almost ashamed about how negative I've become in the past year or so. Everything seemed so dreadful and negative. Reading back through my recent LJ posts I'm almost disgusted at how I come off. I would hate me if I didn't know how much of an emotional nutcase I became last year.

So I need to take this opportunity to appologize to my friends. I've been a whiny bitch, forgive me =P.

In other news, got my car back. This was a 90 buck fix but there's a bigger problem concering a bearing that needs replaced. I just need to figure out if I want to sell my car now or fix it and drive it a bit more. The bearing will be another 200 to replace.

My friend and co-worker invited me to his wedding, so I'll be going to that when the time comes. Our other co-worker and mutual friend begged me to "talk him out of it" in a sarcastic way. I used to work with both of them on a daily basis before I moved. I kind of equate our relationship in a Scrubs, J.D., Turk, Dr.Cox way. Its a funny relationship the three of us have.

I've decided to start dieting and finally kick a caffiene addiction that I've been wrestling with for quite some time. I took a good look at myself, realizing that I had let myself gain a lot of weight in a fairly short amount of time. I've gained in the neighborhood of 40 pounds just in the last year, which is kinda really bad.

So with dieting I will be attempting to get back in a somewhat consistant workout schedule. There are a few 24 hour fitness places nearby, so I may try that out sometime. I'm aiming to at least get back under 200 pounds. Hopefully if I'm really inspired I'll get back to 170, which was about my high-school weight.

I've finally started getting back into voice work with the help of the lovely Topleka. She offered me a role just last week (which I haven't recorded lines for but will tonight! I promise!!!) With this I'll get back into regularly doing auditions for projects. I may give more of a look at original projects instead of doing dubs. I want to be creative with my voice.

Along with recording I've finally gotten a bit of focus with my story and have slowly began putting together the first chapter. Hopefully by the time I finish chapter one I will have some momentum that will carry me forward. The beginning is always the most difficult for me anyway, once I get started I'll be in full swing and it'll be hard to stop. =D

Recent snow has made me a happy boy, but having to drive in the snow is a different task all together. We got about 8 inches on Friday. I've been hearing we're expecting a similar storm tonight or tomorrow.

After having a series of stressful/unfortunate events things are finally turning around for me. Stress both home and at work, coupled with a growing task list kind of put me in a slump.

After returning to work I'm finally getting around to taking my first scheduled full day off work. I've been holding off on it because of the amount of work we've had incoming lately and the situation the company is currently in. There have been a lot of rumors about layoffs and several people had lost their jobs, so I didn't want to be absent during this time. Now that things are on the upswing I'm finally getting to take a break.

This break falls on a good weekend, seeing that my Indianapolis Colts are in the Super Bowl on Sunday and the UFC has a show Saturday night.
Having Friday off will allow me to finally get my car looked at so we can figure how what's wrong and what it will take to fix. Today I went down to the tire shop and was able to get away with only buying a set of front tires instead of replacing all four. This was necessary considering my front-passenger tire had gone flat on Tuesday night, causing me to discover that the steel band was visible. Basically the tire was at the breaking point and only had a handful of miles left on it.

In even better news, a guy I work with JUST expressed interest in buying my car. No questions asked. He just wanted to know the amount I was asking for it, despite my saying the car was in pretty bad shape. If he'll buy it from me at a decent price then all I have to worry about is buying a new car (and I already have one I'm looking at!) Things are just falling into place.

On a less serious note I was finally able to complete Mass Effect and begin my run on the second game. In the first game my character had a weird clipping problem with his hair...where some of the strands just entered into his forehead. It was real ugly and I was hoping I wouldn't have to stare at it in the second game when I ported him over. Luckily ME2 heard my prayers and answered them. It also removed the cool-yet-distracting scar I gave him in the first game. (It made some weird shadow effects. It looked cool at first but I kinda got irritated with it)

Hopefully while my car is being looked at tomorrow I'll be able to swing by Radioshack and pick up the splitter I need in order to broadcast and swap the capture card I have for one more suited to my needs (by suggestion of the #1 Best Buy Buddy, Travis)

I also managed to pick up MAG, a multiplayer shooter on a massive level, allowing up to 128 (64 vs 64) players to conduct a full-scale war. After playing for an hour I already know I'm going to be hooked on this game.

Even beyond all of that, I finally got in contact with my friend Joe on Facebook. Immediately we start talking about music and pick up right were we left off years ago. Hopefully (If I have transport) I'll be able to swing by his place and get in on a jam session or at least just hang out.

I've still got things left on my list "to-do" but a lot of them are in progress or complete. I'm feeling inspired instead of intimidated.

Its been a long road, both figurativly and literally, but I think this is the end of things between the two of us my long-time friend.

Throughout the years we've been through a lot. We've had our share of arguements and we've been the perfect team. Seeing you in the state you're in nearly brings tears to my eyes. Partly due to my neglegence, your health has deteoriated quite rapidly.

I remember the day when we first met. You weren't the most stylish, sophisticated, or most beautiful, but you had a radiating charm. Something that drew me to you. An inner beauty that only I could see. At first we didn't mesh well and things were awkward, but no matter what I demanded you were able to deliver.

Through several snowstorms, hundreds of heavy rains, scorching summers, multiple break-in attempts, breakdowns, and a 4000 mile journey, I can't imagine how I could have gotten by without you.

So now its time for me to let you go. You've reached the end of your days. I love you car.

So I've been trying to set up my computer to broadcast video games over at www.justin.tv. Thus far, though, I have been unsucessful.

After realizing I'll need a legitimate setup, I drove over to Best Buy to see if they had a video capture card that would suit my needs. After I found a card and did much worrying over if it was capable of doing what I wanted (the staff, try as they might, had no clue how to help me with my questions. Not their fault exactly) I finally decided to take it home.

While I DID buy the right equipment I realized I still needed another, more specialized, piece of hardware. A device that will allow me to run video to my computer AND my television. So when I found out I needed this video splitter I returned to Best Buy during my lunch break to see if I could find one. The staff once again had no clue what I was talking about and I then discovered that I would have to go to Radioshack to get one. I don't even know if there's one nearby, but I set that task aside for the weekend.

Until I found out I was going to work this weekend.

FFFFFFFFFFF

Worse, I'm supposed to copy some CD's for a co-worker. I went to do that before I came to work, oh wait, I have no burning software installed.

UUUUUUUUUUU

I'm trying to enjoy Mass Effect 2, which I just spent 6 hours downloading (I did pay for it though) but I can't even start a game yet. I want to import my character from the first game. Problem is I technically never finished the main storyline and the second game won't allow me to import the character until I've reached the end of the game.

CCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK ME!!!!

Edit: well not everything sucks though. Two weeks ago I was hanging out at the previously mentioned justin.tv where a favorite channel of mine was holding a 36 hour multiplayer marathon. To raise money for Haiti. I actually donated $200 to the effort and felt good about myself. Just yesterday I get a bonus check from work for $214. Fuckin-A. I have $14 more than before! I'll treat myself to a nice meal at Texas Roadhouse...oh wait, the nearest one is 2 blocks away...and it burnt down in a fire where three fire hydrants froze solid when the firefighters tried to put it out.

FUCK!

For some strange reason snow and ice has always interested me. While people always mention that they hate the winter, I've become more and more fond of it as I get older. More intrigued by its colors, sounds, and the way it transforms the world around me.

There are only two weather-related events that make me stop and stare in awe. Standing just above a murky, early-morning fog in Spring and a night-time snowfall. In a close-but-distant third place is a clear night sky in summer away from the city lights. The reason that fog and snow captivate me so much is that they change the rules of the world for the time they are around. Fog, with imagination, always leaves you wondering what's ahead. Sure, you know the stop sign is ahead since you've drivin this street hundreds of times, but when you see it, its like a discovery all over again. When you can't see everything like you normally can, you seem to appreciate the world and what you CAN see a lot more.

Snow changes the way the world looks and works. While rain simply makes things wet, it doesn't really change the entire color pallet of the world you see. The blue sky is cut off by a ceiling of clouds. The ground is leveled by a sea of white and a path needs to be carved before you can travel safely. The best thing, the absolute best thing, about winter is standing outside during a late-night snowfall. The world becomes silent as you watch all of this movement around you. Nothing in the world is so quiet, but speaks so loudly through its visual appearance. The world is being transformed while we all sleep, silently. Sometimes I hate when that silence is broken, it really the only time in which a silent seclusion is welcome for me. I don't ever want that moment broken, though I am forced to walk away from it. I know I'll get to experiance it again. When it does I'll enjoy the moment.

I always do.

I don't know what it is about me that draw these people but I seem to have an uncanny ability to attract people who have little to no self control over what they say and/or do. The people who are constantly getting in trouble by their own fault, the people who always seem to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Those people.

This has been an issue for me for years. Throughout high school the social pariahs and possibly mentally unstable seemed to congragte around me. I was always somewhat a social outcast, but my apparent association with these people made it harder for me to mesh with the "normal" crowd. I always seemed to find myself in situations where I would have to defend my friends because their absoulte lack of control in their actions. I could never seperate myself from them because they were my friends but I couldn't just stand by and accept some of their idiotic behavior without wanting to create distance between us socially.

In middle school, my best friend Ryan, had a way of constantly rubbing people the wrong way. He took nothing seriously and was possibly the funniest person I have ever met. We spent our time just joking around, but many times Ryan would fly off on a random tangent in such a loud an obnoxious way that it was embarassing to even be there. We didn't spend a lot of time together in high school because of our schedules and we haven't hung out in a little over a year.

Another friend of mine, Clayton, was part of a....strange family. Everyone in the family was adopted young, but they are closer than most blood-related families I know. Out of all the family Clayton was the clumbsiest, goofiest, and most energetic of them all. Since we were the same age we naturally than I did with his younger and older brothers. Again I found myself being the person that kept him in control both physically and mentally. While he was intelligent he didn't use much common sence and always seemed to be flailing about out of control. Since he lived halfway across the state and I only saw him while at church on Sundays, I lost touch with him when I decided to stop going to church. Work at the time didn't help since I was on the night shift as well as his entering the Navy. Just recently my mom tells me that Clayton is back and was asking about me. She tells me that he was in prison for a while and got wrapped up in drugs.

Again in high school, my friend Mike, was a near carbon copy of Clayton. A tall, goofy guy with more energy than nessessary. I travled with him to a few metal shows, where he always ended up hurting someone or myself when moshing. I remember one occasion where he literally threw me to a cement floor and stepped on my leg because he was flailing out of control and didn't have the common sense to ton it down a notch. He, like myself, was on the fringe of the social networks in school. Where my biggest issue was being too shy to approach anyone his biggest "problem" was that he was a bible carrying preacher who refused to let anyone come between his god and him. Sadly in today's age having a passion for religion is a bit offputting, I don't condone or stand against religions, I just don't partake in them for my own reasons. Mike always seemed to draw attention to himself and usually would do anything you told him to. He was a wreckless driver that had me at his mercy multiple times. One time, after a heavy snow, our mutual friend Jon dared Mike to drive his car into a mound of plowed snow...while we were all in the car. I objected, very loudly, but Mike had made up his mind already and we would be damned to deviate his focus. At some point or another his constant preaching to me had worn my nerves and I just broke ties with him. I admit, I have a very bad history of breaking ties with people and it still haunts me to this day. Mike is still in the area but I haven't really talked to him in a long time.

Which leads me to the most recent example. This kid I work with, Devon, is a decent person. Unfortunately, like the other examples, he has little to no self control and tends to put himself in completely avoidable situation. He also tends to say things that, frankly, don't need to be said. His mother also works here and she explained to me that he had sold his pervious car to a person he didn't even know, because that person would sell him a Cadillac with "spinners" on it. Turns out the car he was sold didn't really work and a few weeks later the guy came back and stole the spinners off the car. He also got wrapped up in drugs and was arrested for robbing someone. Now he's having problems with his girlfriend (or ex, I have no idea) and he told her that he has AIDS (a lie by the way) just to panic her for cheating on him.

Many time I just want to tell people "shut up for your own sake" but they just don't seem to have an off button. Somehow I always find these people and they somehow befriend me. *sigh*

So just a little bit ago I'm working at my press and it had been a normal day up until this point. A temp worker had been brought in to do some work and was instructed to get my help if he needed it. I'm used to helping people out and will do so willingly since I have the ability to run many machines here.

So he calls me over after working for about a half hour. I fix the problem on the machine and as I'm walking away he begins to ask me about my internet connection/TV. I kinda "wtf" to myself at first but play along, wondering where this conversation is going. Then he begins his pitch about how AT&T would give me a $300 deal if I signed up for some service. Then he starts talking about how he has made so much money just today and he had only worked 3 hours before coming in.

This dude is trying to recruit me into selling TV and Internet door-to-door. While I'm at work...

Seriously dude? You're telling me how you're making so much money off this deal but your employed by a staffing agency while I work here full time running a printing press. You're going to give ME a deal?

Sorry friend, I make my money by doing work. Not by jumping into a pyramid scheme. He tells me about how his boss made $6,000 this week since he gets $7 off of every sale each of the 60 people under him make. Oh joy, if I moonlight my job there's a possibility I can make up to 6K a week!!! Yeah, sure. Fuck that friend.

Oh wait, you're not my friend. You're just one more person who shuffles through these doors while I'm doing work legit. Not to seem like an asshole but there's a reason I have a job and you're a temp here.

You know, judging by the past several years I think it would be easy for me to be sorry for myself. Many people may even find it acceptable or at the very least understandable.

Not to say I am depressed, that's not entirely true, but I am a little worn for my age, I feel older than I should.

Physically I'm a mess. I have a lingering issue from my car accident 4 year ago that affects my breathing from time to time. I suspect that I broke my rib and now its healed in an awkward position, pressing against my lung. For a long time it hurt to even breath, now it just prevents me from doing exercise for the most part. I never got it checked out and can't get it looked at currently because I'm not eligible for health insurance at the moment.

I also have a shoulder problem from when I was working out several years ago. I suspect that I tore my rotator cuff, but like the above, I can't get it checked out at the moment.

I also have a worsening lower back. A Woods family trait that affects most of the men in my family. Both of my uncles, my father, and my grandfather all had a distinct walk because their backs went out. My cousin's back also blew out a year or so ago.

My most embarrassing problem though is my hair, or lack thereof. When I was a kid I used to have really nice hair, but ever since high school it has thinned out and now I'm practically bald at 24. Its a family trait from my mother's side. There's nothing I can really do about it, I've accepted it but that doesn't mean I'm not conscious of it.

Outside of physical issues I've had my share of emotional distress. Falling in love on three separate occasions only to watch each one kind of blow up in my face has left me asking myself if I even want to pursue love anymore.

Coming face to face with my own mortality in my car accident, along with my brother being robbed at gunpoint and watching my grandfather go from a fully functioning man to a lifeless body in a matter of months, has left me feeling that there isn't enough time in my life to do what I want.

Worse of all, the fact that I don't really have any friends remaining from high school and my group of friends online has severely dwindled (mostly due to my own doing) I am feeling lonelier than ever before.

Despite all of these issues, I can't say that I have a 100% negative view on life, but it doesn't mean I'm totally satisfied with how things have turned out for me so far in my adult life.

I just need to adjust and make the most of it I suppose.

/end of meaningless post.

Finally I've come to a decision as to what I'm going to write in efforts of becoming a project for the VAA. I may still attempt the audio manga projects but as for original writings, I realized for Domino and Scars I was mostly uninspired to write. Despite having had it in the works for such a long time I didn't feel any sort of attachment to Scars and Domino felt like such an unfamiliar thing to write, since it wouldn't be a continuous story but rather a series of seperate events. While I don't believe it would be a problem to do, I just didn't feel a connection with it.

While working today I was thinking about a random song that I enjoy, "Gates of Gnomeria" by Andy McKee. Its such a calming and mistifying song that I suddenly found myself forming a world around it. Somewhat unconciously I might add.

I was thinking of how I could fit it into a story, using a length of the song for a moment in which a character would play it. Then I began to flesh the character out, making him into a brilliantly talented musician without the ability to communicate. A mute musician. An outcast to most of society but expressing so much passion through his music. He would sadly go unnoticed by the majority of public, not understanding his music or his feelings, until a girl came by who could see and feel his emotions, his passion.

From there the musician became seconday and kind of faded out of my mind as I started to build the girl and her world. Coming to the conclusion that something should be special about her. Finally, I came up with this as a prologue.

Every 90 years a girl is born into the world with an incrediable gift. The ability to read the scarfs of emotion that are tied to every person within this world. These girs are called Seer's

The scarfs tell the story of every person's life and can reveal future events and if the Seer is skilled enough, they can even reweave the scarfs to change anyone's future.

As expected, Seer's powers are highly valued and desperately saught after. Seers are praised and worshiped for their powers, normaly living a life of luxury. Though sadly, It is not uncommon for the family the generation's Seer is born into to sell her off to the highest bidder so she can live her days offering her skills for profit.

Selena, at age 15, has been able to see the scarfs, despite a girl 4 years older than her in a far off town being titled her generation's Seer. Her powers have been kept a seceret by her family from the outside world, but she feels an overwhealming need to use her abilities to change the lives of others for the better, somehow understanding that doom will soon befall her village.

Because she has noticed all of the scarfs have turned black.


Let me know what you think. Please excuse all grammer and spelling errors, for I am writing via phone. Its a bit short but that's all I can do for now.

Edit: The song I was thinking about was actually "Ebon Coast" by Andy McKee. But "Gates of Gnomeria" is also an amazing song.

Where I work it is not unreasonable to have multiple random people come up to you asking for information. I run a printing press, thus I am responscible for making sure project managers have their work completed on time and ready to ship to customers when scheduled. I am most often asked when a job will be on press but there are times when truck drivers or workers from other departments may come to me for answers to questions that don't exactly pretain to my work.

This is understandable. This job has really taught me about being professional and having the answers to questions people want to know, or knowing who to direct those questions to in order to have them answered.

One of my greatest frustrations, though, is personally seeing to what lenghts some people will go to avoid asking certain people questions.

The topic of racism comes up all the time and while it is not as strong or intentional as it was 60 years ago, it is still very much alive. I don't believe its a maliciousness within people but to some degree everyone in this world does have racist tendencies. It is also important to know that racism isn't limited to white on *insert race here* crimes, but includes all skin colors on one another.

Here's an example. I used to work alongside two other gentlemen to maintain and run 7 seperate printing presses. We are all good friends and work as a team to complete our work. Out of the three of us, I was the least experienced (less time in the department, meaning I had the least seniority) I was the youngest, and I was the only white person of the three of us. My co-workers, Ron and Phil, are both black.

Ron had worked for the company for around 8 years and was the senior press operator. He was the most knowledgable of all of us about incoming work, press operation, and general workmanship in the area. If there was anything to know about digital press operations, he knew it. At the time Phil had only been with the company for around a year and I had just started in that department a few months prior. (I had been working at the company for 3 years though)

Ron had told stories about how people would avoid asking him about hot jobs or press operations.because he was black. He kind of laughed about it saying "yeah, they don't ask me nothing because I'm black. There's no way *I* know anything about what's going on." He didn't seem troubled by it though. He understood that it wasn't 100% intentional, but rather a kneejerk reaction to ask the closest white person instead of him. He then predicted that if the situation arised that a person had the opportunity to ask any one of the three of us a question pretaining to work, that they would immediatly come to me first.

How right he was.

Several weeks after his prediction a lady from the packing area, someone I had personally worked under for about a year, came back to the digital printing department to ask about a job that needed to be packed that day. Though she had known Ron for years and talked to Phil on frequent occasion (Phil is a very nice guy and often chats with any and everyone. A very likeable person) she walked PAST both of them and came directly to me, who had been in a corner counting material on a pallet.

As I listened to her question I realized it wasn't anything that Ron or Phil couldn't answer. In actuality it was a question that was best suited for Ron to answer as the senior operator in the area, yet she walked past both of them to ask me. When she walked away I approached them with a bit of a bewildered look on my face.

"Did she just walk past you to ask me that?" I asked.

Phil confirmed it with a "yeah" while laughing. Then I looked at Ron as my confustion grew stronger. Thinking that it couldn't have possibly been the exact thing he pridicted.

"But she could have asked either of you...why did she do that?" I asked in a retoricle sense, having a strong suspicion of what this was really about.

Ron looked at me and without as much as a smirk shot back "What do you think?" knowing the answer.

There was a short silence as I scratched my head. Then the first thing that came to my mind rolled out of my mouth. "Because I'm white?"

Both Ron and Phil burst into laughter. I couldn't quite believe what was going on but it was just an absurd moment. We laughed about it for a few days and "because I'm/you're white" became somewhat of a catchphrase for the three of us. A way to point out the ridiculous and laugh about it, though I did become more aware of how people acted from then on.

Tonight marked the latest chapter of the "because I'm white" saga. A truck driver came into the building to pick up a shipment. My boss is Portugese (born in America) and three of my coworkers are black, but this lady walked past all 4 of them in order to ask me about the shipment, despite me running my press and obviously not being the boss. I could only facepalm in frustration knowing the only reason she was asking me was because I was the first white person she saw in the building.

Its not that she is racist, at least not in the sense of hating non-whites, but rather she is more willing to talk to someone who is the same race before asking the first person she sees period. I would not have had a problem if I was the first person she had seen upon entering the building, but she chose to walk past 4 people in order to seek a white person out.

*sigh* what a world, eh? Oh well, I'll just laugh about It and be ready to answer the questions, because I'm white

For mostly my own reference but I guess you guys can help by providing feedback.

Like always, I've got too many ideas and not enough time to split between them to make headway, so I need to decide what to make my number one project. I've got three or four ideas floating about and I want to post a short summary of each one to get everyone's opinions.

1) Domino the Wicked. An original radioplay series that would consist of multiple short "episodes" chronicling the life of Tom (no last name.) Tom has recently moved into a new city and is an aspiring comic book artist. After being rejected by nearly every major publisher he is finally given a break by a medium-sized publisher with hopes of springboarding to stardom. The only problem is that he comes into ownership of a kitten that is possessed by a ruthless demon.

The demon curses Tom with the ability to understand and speak with animals as well as becoming a personal servant to the violent being. As time goes on events become even more confusing with the addition of an oddly-shaped cat with a name way too long. Simply known as "Regal Tomcat" to Tom and Domino, this prissy male cat walks the streets as if he were king and consistantly treats Tom as a pesant. This Tomcat takes the young Domino under his wing, causing some comical situations to unfold.

This would be an ongoing project with a fairly small main cast with plenty of extra parts. Meaning casting would probably mostly be done via scouts.

2) For Those Left Behind. This is a more serious story, telling the tale of Allen, a 18 year old who has to deal with the struggles of watching his life crumble around him. Entering into his senior year of high school, Allen's parents reveal to him that they will be getting a divorce. Even worse, his best friend, Joe, is slipping further and further away from him and into a world of crime and drug abuse. As the series progresses things only get worse for him, with more and more situations eating away at his will. Soon, he finds himself about to end it all.

This would be a very dark story. Something that may be a little too mature for the majority of the VAA's population. This is a story that I've wanted to do for a while now but haven't been able to get started. It would be 6 episodes in total with a number of characters, both main and supporting. A very emotional story.

3) Double Arts audio manga. This manga was a series that got started last year but died out only after 20 or so chapters. I think it was a potentially great manga that just didn't get the ratings that Shonen Jump wanted so they cancled it. Which is just a shame. Go read it over at www.onemanga.com

4) GE Good Ending audio manga. I mentioned this manga in another post. I think this would be a great series to translate into a project. Using manga scans to display the actions of the characters, the voices just pop out to me as I read it. (Yes, I do have people in mind for characters already.)

5) Scars. I've posted a short bit of this story here before. It follows the tale of two brothers in their fight against the world. Royce and Alexio have never been given a break. They live alone, with no parents or adults to raise them. They live in a small village set at the base of a towering city. The village is poor and none of the residents are allowed to live within the city's walls, where they would be safe from the elements and the wildlife. Instead they are forced to work in the fields from sunrise to sunset, with the rest of the village, in order to hire protection from the city guard.

Alexio holds a deep grudge against everyone within the city. When they were young Royce was nearly killed by a pair of city guards. The boy was sick and starving, hardly able to work, but the guards harassed him until he lashed out. Alexio rushed to his brother's aid, fighting the guards but ended up losing his arm when the corrupt militiamen threw him into a machine designed to harvest wheat.

Royce, while completly loyal to his brother, does not share the same mindset. Forever the optimist, he believes their world can be improved with work and cooperation between the village and city. He also befriends a girl, Elysia, who resides in the city.

I'm not sure how long I want to make this story, since I have been writing, planning, replanning, and rewriting it for nearly 3 years now. Its more suited to be a manga, but I cannot draw, so that idea doesn't work. Being a radioplay I think it would lose some of its passion and wonder, since I have ideas for the environments and the contrasting styles of differing cities. (I have an idea of an entire city following a steampunk theme. Everything powered by steam and gears. A really unique place) I would probably condense the first "arc" into a single episode. It would mostly be about the boy's past and how they escape the situation they are in. Though I wouldn't be able to help myself wanting to progress the story forward into other arcs.

There are more ideas but I feel these are probably the best to start off with. Let me know what you think.

So yeah, ever since Christmas week I have been following an erratic sleeping schedule that has seen me awake and asleep during all hours of the day. Initially it was just a very lazy version of my normal schedule, waking up at 2 or 3PM and sleeping at 4 or 5AM. Then I began waking up at 5 and going to sleep at 7. Yes, that's 5PM and 7AM.

After realizing that I needed to get back to a schedule that would allow me to be awake while I work I forced a reset in my body by forcing myself awake until I began to approach a normal sleeping hour. So one night I get to sleep at 9 in the evening and say "well I'm getting closer to my normal bedtime. I should be good."

My body said back to me "fuck you"
I wake up at 3AM on the day I'm due back to work. Not only can I not get back to sleep, I have to be at work at 3PM, getting off at 11. Since I'm wide awake I have to last 12 hours before even going into work and then force myself awake for another 8.

That was Monday. Tuesday (or was it Wendsday?) I woke up at 5AM. Today I woke up at 8AM, which is considerably better but still I bit too early for my liking. Hopefully I should be getting to sleep around 3 tonight. Which would put me back into my perfect rotation. I'll be able to wake up and get some things done before getting to work, then coming home to finish out the night.

Things I will be doing to finish out said night include checking for Bleach, Naruto, and One Piece chapters. Also Bakumen and GE Good Ending (which updated today with a kinda-sorta boring chapter.) I will also be playing plenty of games.

For christmas I was given two $20 playstation store cards. So I picked up Peggle, Elefunk, Flower, Pixlejunk Shooter, and another game that escapes my memory at this time. It was a pretty good sweep for 40 bucks if I say so myself.

I also picked up Darksiders and Bayonetta last night during my lunch break. So I'll have plenty of stuff to play on PS3 to drag me away from my PC gaming for a while. I've been playing a shitton of stuff as of late, including Batman: Arkham Asylam, Peggle (yes, I have peggle for PC and PS3...its THAT good), Team Fortress 2, Prince of Persia, Plants vs Zombies (AWESOME GAME!!!) Left 4 Dead 2, Audiosurf, and many more.

Sooner or later I'll have to stop playing games and get to work on voice acting or writing again. I've got several things I want to do. I think I'll try to get started on them tonight...if Bayonetta doesn't call me back with her absurd action and sexy...yeah...

Finally decided to upload some userpics besides my face.

Lets see if I can't show them off.



Going from left to right we have: 1) Facepalm, for all of those moments you just can't explain due to the sheer stupid. 2) I'm Not Your Friend Guy, when you come across those people who are way too invasive or buddy-buddy when you don't really know them. 3) Bears With Guns, For times when you know you're fucked. 4) HEY YOU! When I want to get your attention....the opposite of "I'm not your friend guy." 5) Holy Shit, a Talking Animal! Just a general holy shit icon. 6) Sort of Want. Meh....I guess. 7) How About No. Bear doesn't enjoy whatever you're brining to him. 8) Retarded Ice Cream. Sometimes we're (or I'm) so retarded that even my ice-cream cones feel the effects. 9) WAT!?! When Solid Snake realizes that the cybernetic ninja is Gray Fox, his former mentor and co-operative that he had to kill years ago, the look on his face screams WAT!?! 10) SHUT UP! Stop fucking talking! 11) So Much Win. When the victory is this grand, tears are shed. 12) Derp. Baman and Piderman sing songs, play games, and have pumpkins and tubas for friends. They're a little derpid.

So Sunday night (well early Monday morning) I ninja log onto the VAA and start putting my friends list back together.

After getting off work and logging on again I notice that people have noticed... Suddenly I've got a page full of comments and a handfull of friend requests. Its kind of a weird sight. I actually felt something that I hadent felt in a long time, happiness.

I've been in such a rut for damn near 8 months that its almost forign to me, this whole happy thing. Its a good feeling, yup. I think I'll hold onto this feeling, could be useful or stuff. <.<

If you guys get a chance, read the manga GE Good Ending. Look for it over at www.onemanga.com

I'm planning on putting together a radioplay/audio manga of it for my first project back.

So after a long time off of work for the holidays, filled with much deserved rest, I finally get back to work today...too bad I fell asleep at 8PM last night and woke up at 4 this morning and have been up ever since. I work from 3 to 11, meaning I'm going to have to be up for about 19 hours today.

I don't really have a clue how I got on this weird sleep pattern but if I can last another 30 minutes of work and get to sleep at around 12-1, I'll be back in perfect order. At this point in the day I feel so heavy that its not even funny. Even worse, its about 10 degrees outside, meaning I'll have to freeze my ass on the way home.

On the bright side, it'll keep me awake for a bit.

In other news I've finally returned to the VAA and I plan on becoming active again, but maybe more on the production side of things for now. I have some ideas for projects and I might have some audition threads up sometime in the next month or so. Gotta get in touch with some friends and appologise to many people for my sudden dropping off the face of the Earth.

I'm starting to wish I had signed up for both classes for the adventures in voice acting up in Chicago, but with the weather as horrible as it is, I don't know if I could make the 100+ mile drive and back. (Also considering my car is probably on its twilight miles or will be soon)

Oh well, maybe next time.

Interesting developments in the daily life of the worlds most every man...me.

The sentence above does not make sense, pray that I don't alter it further. To put a little back story in place, many of you reading know that I had a pretty bad breakup back in May. A relationship that I made a lot of life-changing decisions to pursue which ultimately turned out to be a huge strain on me. The months following the breakup saw me lose much of my desire to even live. Without going into much detail, I'll just say I didn't want to live. (Do NOT read this as "I wanted to kill myself." For they are not the same thing and that is certainly not what I experienced.)

Needless to say I was devastated and found myself reflecting on my life to that point. I was in a severe depression, the kind left behind when rage takes over you. I didn't sleep more than a few hours total for the first month, and when I did I usually woke up in emotional torment since I could only dream about my ex. With all of this suffering I was going through I was slowly drifting out of sanity and began to blame my friends, family, and anyone else I could for my problems. I became an insomniac, irritable and spiteful, and I held a lot of resentment.

In the recent months, November and early December, I had finally begun to let it all go. I took a step back and saw what I had become. I saw my health on a steep decline and realized I had pushed everyone else that meant anything to me away. I was sleeping well again and I began to forget about everything that happened in hopes of starting something new and rebuilding the friendships I destroyed.

Then I got a message on my myspace page from my ex. When I saw her picture there it was the first time in months that I hadn't had a rage build up inside of me when I saw her face. Previously I was just overcome with anger and grief and it really ate at me that I gave up so much to be with her. But not this time. Sure I was a little panicked. It took me 10 minutes of staring at my phone to finally decide to not delete the message without reading it and another 5 to finally decide to read it before closing the browser window.

Without divulging private matters the response I gave her was sharp, to the point, and (mostly) friendly. The was a short dialogue and that was that. We made a loose agreement to talk sometime but that's where my trouble begins now.

I'm not sure if I even WANT to talk to her.

I'm not angry anymore and I'm sure if we put enough effort into it we could be friends again. I am not really a person capable of hatred. I've tried it, can't do it. Its funny but its true, I cannot hate a person in this world. At least I haven't met someone I hate yet, despite how many times I've been wronged. I have forgivin my dad for years of alcoholic abuse, and as it stands he's one of my best friends now. We were just playing Wii golf together the other day having a great time.

My problem with my ex isn't that I hate her or have any bad feelings left, I've forgiven her. Its that I don't have anything to say.

I've run the questions through my mind "How have you been?" And my answer would be "oh, I've been good...ya'know, outside of the sleepless nights and isolation and depression. I've mostly been good outside of all the shit that's happened to me." What do I talk about? Getting my old job back, having my pay cut, then my hours, worrying day-in and day-out if I'll have my job next week because of the horrible state of the company? Or how some of my co-workers seem to have a vendetta against me for leaving and coming back. Should I talk about how my car stereo was stolen out of my car or my mirror was broken by a bunch of kids and I don't have the money to fix it? What about my inability to even go out on a date because of my work hours and inability to find anyone in the state of Indiana that isn't a: drunk, druggie, 19 year-old with 2 kids, snooty bitch, complete nutcase, or someone I'm just not attracted to. That's not counting the women I find attractive who think I'm a complete whacko because of my appearance.

I have nothing to talk to her about and its not even about my problems. I just don't have anything to say to her about the past or future.

When it comes to people I always believe the worst thing that can possibly happen between two is not that one hates or loves the other, but doesn't feel anything at all. As Dr.Cox put it early on in Scrubs "I don't hate you, I nothing you. You are nothing, nothing at all to me."

The moment someone becomes absolutely nothing to you means there is little to no chance if anything being done about it. In Dr. Cox's case he was obviously lieing about his true feelings. I'm not. When it comes to her its not about hate or past love

There's just nothingness...

I'm really trying to not be a cold heartless bastard here but I just don't know what I can say that won't feel as if it were forced smalltalk. I feel as if anything I could say would have no meaning behind it. I'm really trying to feel something here but I just can't.

Its time to dust this old thing off.

Right now I'm writing this from my phone on a painfully cold night in my car. I've spent the last several months in a stupor and have been wandering aimlessly through my days. I don't need to hear about my mistakes and my shortcomings because I've been reliving my life through my dreams and meditations day-by-day.

I have to say that I'm not hapy with my life as it is. So something needs to be changed. I feel a restart is in order.

I'm Brad Woods, shameless optimist, hopeless pessimist. The child that knows too much and the adult that can't quite grow up. An idiot that can find any reason to keep trying and will find every reason to give it all up. And a really really cold dude right now.

Getting warm sounds like a good place to start....

I looked at a picture of someone on myspace....and dry heaved. Now I feel like a total asshole....

I've always been a writer, it's something that has been with me for a long time now. I've tried my hand at several different styles and have adventured into almost every avenue of writing but the one style that has always been closest to my heart has been songwriting and poetry. I am a musically driven person, I really don't think anyone really understands how much music really means to me, how much it affects me. A great song will bring me to my knees in it's awe. It reaches into my heart and pulls something out that is on a level of ecstasy. It's like a drug being pumped into my veins, the rush of emotions and energy is so amazing. If it could be bottled and sold, I wouldn't need anything else in the world.

My major goal for a long time has been to form a band and be able to share my message, my unfiltered heart. To reach out to the people who are in a desperate situation and need something to lift their spirits. To give the unmotivated a reason to push forward and make their beliefs and dreams a reality. The fame is not what I want, I just want people to hear and understand me. Since I'm not a great conversationalist or writer (in a story sense) music and poetry helps me reach that goal easier.

I am in the process of writing a series of poems (intended to become songs) I think my goal will be to write 8-10 pieces. Each one has their own message and story. I am being careful to give each one their own identity and not overlap in any area in concerns to style or wordage.

I've already completed one of the pieces but I'm not going to be posting them *just* yet. When I'm about halfway finished I'll post one, until then just keep your eyes out. =D

Brad

True facts are BOLDED:

I am 5'4" or shorter
I think I'm ugly
I have many scars
I tan easily
I wish my hair was a different color
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color
I have a tattoo
I am self-conscious about my appearance
I have/I've had braces
I wear glasses
I'd get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free, scar-free
I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger
I have more than 2 piercings
I have piercings in places besides my ears
I have freckles

Family/Home Life:

I've sworn at my parents
I've been kicked out of the house
My biological parents are together
I have a sibling less than one year old
I want to have kids someday
I have children
I've lost a child

Embarrassment:

I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation
Disney movies still make me cry
I've snorted while laughing
I've laughed so hard I've cried
I've glued my hand to something
I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose
I've had my pants rip in public

Health:

I was born with a disease/impairment (Born with a hernia, if that's anything)
I've had stitches
I've broken a bone
I've had my tonsils removed
I've sat in a doctor's office with a friend
I've had my wisdom teeth removed
I had a serious surgery
I've had chicken pox

Traveling:

I've driven over 200 miles in one day
I've been on a plane
I've been to Canada
I've been to Niagara Falls
I've been to Japan
I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans
I've been to Europe
I've been to Africa
I've been to France

Experiences:

I've been lost in my city
I've seen a shooting star
I've wished on a shooting star
I've seen a meteor shower
I've gone out in public in my pajamas
I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator
I've been to a casino
I've been skydiving
I've gone skinny dipping
I've played spin the bottle
I've crashed a car
I've been skiing
I've been in a play
I've met someone in person from the internet
I've caught a snowflake on my tongue
I've seen the Northern Lights
I've sat on a roof top at night
I've played chicken
I've played a prank on someone
I've ridden in a taxi
I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
I've been snowboarding

Relationships:

I'm single
I'm in a relationship
I'm available
I'm engaged
I'm married
I've gone on a blind date
I've been the dumpee more than the dumper
I miss someone right now
I have a fear of abandonment
I've been divorced
I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
I've told someone I loved them when I didn't
I've told someone I didn't love them when I did
I've kept something from a past relationship

Sexuality:

I've had a crush on someone of the same gender
I've kissed a member of the same gender
I've had sex with someone of the opposite gender
I've had sex with someone of the same gender
I've had sex with more than one person at the same time
I am a cuddler
I've been kissed in the rain
I've had sex outdoors
I've hugged a stranger
I have kissed a stranger
I have had sex with a stranger

Honesty/Crime:

I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't
I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't
I have lied to my parents about where I am
I am keeping a secret from the world
I've cheated while playing a game
I've cheated on a test
I've run a red light
I've been suspended from school
I've witnessed a crime
I've been in a fist fight
I've been arrested
I've shoplifted

Drugs/Alcohol:

I've consumed alcohol
I smoke cigarettes
I smoke pot
I regularly drink
I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them
I've done hard drugs
I've been addicted to an illegal substance
I take cough meds when I'm not sick
I can't swallow pills
I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem

Mental health:

I have been diagnosed with depression
I shut others out when I'm depressed
I take anti-depressants
I have an eating disorder
I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it
I've hurt myself on purpose
I'm addicted to self harm
I've woken up crying

Death:

I'm afraid of dying
I hate funerals
I've seen someone dying
I have attempted suicide
Someone close to me has attempted suicide

Random:

I can sing well
I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant
I open up to others too easily
I don't kill bugs
I curse regularly
I sing in the shower
I am a morning person
I paid for my cell phone ring tone
I'm a snob about grammar
I am a sports fanatic
I play with my hair
I have/had "x"s in my screen name
I love being neat
I've copied more than 30 CDs in a day
I bake well
My favorite colour is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue
I don't know how to shoot a gun
I am in love with love
I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS
I laugh at my own jokes
I eat fast food weekly
I believe in ghosts
I am online 24/7, even as an away message
I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room
I am really ticklish
I love white chocolate
I bite my nails
I play video games
I'm good at remembering faces
I'm good at remembering names
I'm good at remembering dates
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life
I add something to the end of almost everything I say; ex: yeah, you know, yo, dawg.
I've been honest while filling out this meme